IF anyone still reads this journal, I decided to write and keep up with my own blog.

Welcome to the 21st century, no more journals, web logs.


Excellent.

Anywho, if you'd like to check it out, it's on wordpress, here's the link:

http://impureiron.wordpress.com/

I'll be keeping this up until the end of April, so be sure to check out the new blog.

Thanks,

You-probably-know-by-now.

Yep, It's just what you know about it.

At approximately 2:23AM Sunday, February 21st, I stopped breathing, while fully conscious.

For about 4 seconds, my heart wasn't kickin'. Yep, that purest of pure colds set in. The heat left every part of me. Those thoughts started racing in.

"Is this it? Dying alone in my bed on a Saturday morning? That gob of mucus sealing my fate?"

Obviously I didn't succumb. I started punching myself in the chest, I crawled out of bed, opened my door, and slightly slammed it on my chest region. That blob of fleshy phlegm flew out and into my closet.

I haven't felt more scared in my life. Ever. And only when I do die will I feel that again.

Obviously I haven't told people in my life how really important they have been, will be, and are, to me.
I also have been the most righteous douche for most of my life. I'd like to apologize for that here, even though only two or three people will read it.

I'm gonna change.

Even if it...kills me...?

Should post a bit more often.

Well, I'd say I got over her.
BUT I DIDN'T. I controlled it. That's more like it. Yeah, keep that.

Whatever. On to more important things.

Got the Beatles Rock Band. Seriously. Has my vote for BEST GAME EVER. Sorry all you games with story and challenge...But it's the BEATLES.

Back at school. It's been more or less the same. Having more fun, getting work done. Weird having that feeling like you've accomplished something...Weird...

Gah, boring life is boring.

At least to the reader.

Finished like 8 books, started writing three. One's a pseudo-bible. It's neat to me. Religion's fun to write.

The play's been stressful. I have only two bit parts, but they're physical and I have to remember a lot of movements. Plus I'm not a very good actor, I'm just a good liar.

No, I'm not talking about her.
No, you shut up.
What did you call me?
Sorry. Drag.

No. I'm not. Seriously.

Something in the way she-- NO. SERIOUSLY. STOBBIT.

Peace out

Zach

I realize it's not Tuesday.

It was quite odd, not scary, everyone was eerily calm.

So, I'm on this plane. It's small, but luxurious, and there are about 20 seats. All couch-like.

The people on the plane are as follows (In sporadic order): Dylan, Maddy, Victoria, Sierra, Reece, Elias, Colin, Myself, Stranger 1, Stranger 2 (both teens), Aja, Justus.

Everyone is sitting alone or with one other person. Sierra and Reece are together. Victoria has headphones on, and is writing. Dylan is alone, chatting with a ghostly-Bjork (who's just floating there, listening) Maddy is sitting at the window and Elias is chatting with her, and Aja is talking with Colin about a film they're making. Justus has a DnD book open. The two people I didn't recognize are sitting in perfect silence, looking at each other lovingly. It was weird... I'm in the front, turned around my chair, looking at everyone.

The pilot comes on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, if you'd like to look out the right side of your plane, you'll see a tornado. Coming straight for us." Very Calm. Like it means nothing.

And we all do. We rush to the windows, looking as this huge tornado whooshes towards us. And it hits us. BUT NOTHING HAPPENS. The only thing that happens is that a ton of papers that appear out of nowhere are thrown around the cabin. The mysterious couple are gone, which made no sense. Everyone looks around, quite weirded out.

Pilot again. "Ladies and Gentlemen, if you'll take your seats, we're on our way into Dublin International right now, and that tornado certainly was something, but you need to sit down."

Everyone sits down. Maddy breaks off from Eli and comes to sit with me, which was strange. She talks to me about her relationship issues with Matthew. Which again was weird considering they're broken up now. I was listening, and suddenly she stops, looks me directly in the eyes, and says
"Stop dreaming about me and wake up."

And I did.

Weird.

Peace out,

Zach

I hate being a teenager -.-

I hate being selfish, arrogant, stupid, and just all around unprepared.

It's just not fun. Seriously, the hormones were cool for awhile. Yay, slightly deeper voice.
Then the DRAMA....

Christ.

I told her yesterday.
I told her, and she's in love with someone, and she just kept talking, and she asked, and I can't lie to her, and and and...
FUCK.

Honestly. Now she won't talk to me anymore.
Fuck. Selfish, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I just hate being selfish like this, wanting people to know, just to have the satisfaction I could say. Me, Me, I, I, whatever. I didn't think of her at any fucking point...

FUCK. I'm done being a teenager, I think I'll just skip to when I'm 32, alone, living in Europe, working as a forensic technician.

One more time. FUCK.

PS: Victoria's completely bonkers. BONKERS I TELLS YA!

Whatever.

From the pen of one annoyed teenager, Zachary Berry

posts are no longer about her!

Ahhh
Such a good weekend
Went to Doni's and played vidya games until 9 at night
Then came home
made a HUGE dinner composed of like 12 different snack foods
played Wii Fit for an HOUR
Then I went on my computer and played more games until three ish
So boring to anyone else
but AWESOMESAUCE to me

Then today
Watched Spaceballs The Series from like 11 to 4
Listened to LOTS of music
Then basically napped
and then wrote a ton of random crap
wrote half a screenplay
most of a script
Then I just sat and looked at the wall for half an hour
Of course, the TV was in the way
But it's just there to keep me from looking crazy

Good Weekend. Tons of rehearsal this week.
Sweet.

~ From the pen of Zelos Wilder ~

FROM THE FUCKING ROOFTOPS

I want to shout it.
You don't even know

Alright, listening to some dark music, some love songs, some rap songs, some stupid songs
Finally got the basement back
So it's a freaking radio show down here
FROZEN APPLE JUICE FOR ALL

Very annoyed with Them Crooked Vultures
Taking too long to release their new album

BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND.

I'll get the courage soon...
SHE WILL KNOW BY THE NEW YEAR.
Or something.
I surely hope it's sooner than that.
WHY WON'T SHE ARGUE WITH ME
DAMNIT I NEED THE CHALLENGE FROM HER
She's the only one I'm shy around
even with this goofy facade
And now someone knows
and promised not to tell
but she said it's REALLY obvious to her
and I PRAY TO GOD it's not obvious to HER.

Whatever. I've got meditation to do. See you all tomorrow.

~ From the pen of one Zelos Wilder ~

I think all of this video-gaming has kinda given me brain damage.
Mainly because it changes the way I talk, and the way that I interact with people.
And the way my beliefs work.

I'll start with the speech.
I have the whole talking like I'm from the fourteenth century thing
And I take shit WAY out of proportion
And act all serious about stuff I shouldn't take seriously like things people at school say
Honestly
I'd like to be a pot-smoking teenager
Just so I was accepted

Then the interaction
If my relationships and friendships don't have serious issues and lots of drama
I get bored
that's why homework and sticking to things is hard
because I just get bored.

I believe in two things.
The Light and God.
One Made the other, that's all I know
Maybe God created the Light to persist in all things so he could take a weekend off
Or maybe the Light created God so that people would have a focal image to believe in and look up to
And ultimately rely on
I dunno
I like the Light because it's a shapeless being and it doesn't care about who you are
It loves you regardless and it penultimately knows you are good
And God loves us all, but those who preach his teachings don't

I think the Light is what we all need.
Something to love us unconditionally and accept all that we are
Even though we aren't worth half a drop of water in the scheme of things.

I dunno. I like that old time rock and roll.
And, Also, (If you're wondering if I want you to) I want you to.
THAT'S TO YOU 62339!
THAT'S TO YOU!
I'll muster up the courage soon.
Until then.
The Light's good enough for me.

~ from the pen of one Zelos Wilder ~

Huzzah, the rain :D
But I really want snow
Because snow is literally the best weather I can think of

Anywho.
I was walking home from a friend's house at around 6.
And this being late fall, It was dark. I mean DARK.
And I was walking through the park. And I glanced over the treeline and saw the buildings and all the lights
and I saw the stars. It was so freaking awesome I sat and just looked at it for a good 20 minutes.
Then the cold started biting at me and I went home.

My head hurts
and people know to much about my love for 62339.
I hope she doesn't freaking find out.
I swear. If she does, I'm gonna have to either deny or switch schools...she's still in a relationship and all

I kinda feel like doing something obscenely dangerous
like rooftop tap dancing or seeing how many fences you can crash through before people begin getting pissed
Thank God it's a day off tomorrow... Naps all around, followed by cleaning.
Possibly some writing.
Maybe post those monologues on here.

I dunno. I'll post something.

~ From the pen of one Zelos Wilder ~

Am I the only one
Who really really really wants to be in a romantic comedy?
I've always wanted to be in one.
It's just something that's fascinating
but I want it to be about a relationship I'm in or I've had
or, hell, I don't even need to be in a movie
I've always wanted to be in one of those really REALLY mushy scenes where the guy is one place and the girl's at the airport or the bus station or about to get on a train
and he just frickin books it
and he runs, and he runs and it cuts to her going through security
and he's still running and he hits a big black guy drinking a latte and he's like "Hey! You're paying for that!"
and he keeps running
and she's boarding the whatever
and he just yells the name
and she's ignoring him
and he's still yelling and he totally leaps the security somehow
and she turns
and realizes how determined he is
and he explains how wrong and stupid he was and how dumb he feels
and she's just smiling because she already knows
And they kiss and make up
and it's really really really awesome.

Yeah, I want one of those. Although, the whole turmoil beforehand might be a bit much.

Meh. I'm ready.

~From the pen of one Zelos Wilder, Paladin ~

Slight Edit: This is all in regards to one lady by the name of 62339. You know who you are. Wait, no you don't. Oh well. I know who you are.